The Kapok Flower Is in Bloom
Mr.Harrison, a dance teacher in an American school, rehearsed a dance program named" The Kapok Flower Is in Bloom." Many times, when a party was held or a festival celebrated in the school, his students would perform the program.
Meantime, Mr.Smith, the headmaster of the school, was very tired of watching such programs. Once he said to Mr.Harrison," How long until the Kapok flower withers and falls?" Mr.Harrison answered with a smile, " Until I retire."
A man once lost his donkey. He didn't go and look for it; however, he stayed at home all day, just murmuring to himself," Thank God, thank God...."
On hearing this, his wife said angrily. You are very foolish. You have lost our donkey. Instead of blaming yourself, you are murmuring constantly, " Thank God, thank God...."
The man said, " You should thank God, too. If I was on the donkey's back on that day, I would be lost as well as the donkey, and you would be a widow. So we both should really say' Thank God, thank God...'
Life After Death
"Do you believe in life after death?" Jack's boss asked Jack.
"Well, then,that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "About an hour after you left yesterday to go to your grandfather's funeral, he dropped in to see you."
It Doesn't Matter
Mary: What are you doing in the garden, John?
John: I'm watering the flowers. My mother said we must water flowers every day or they will die.
Mary: But it's raining now.
John: Oh, it doesn't matter, Mary. I have an umbrella.
Only One Day Older
Mum: John, today is your father's birthday and tomorrow is yours. (来源：http://www.EnglishCN.com)
John: Oh, dear! Father is only one day older than I!
An Unexpected Answer
A man went to a movie theater and was surprised to find a woman with a big dog sitting in front of him. Even more astonishing was the fact that the dog always laughed in the right places throughout the comedy. "Excuse me," the man said to the woman, "but I think it is fantastic that your dog enjoys the film so much."
" I am surprised myself," she replied." He hated the book."
A man in a train could not find his silk handkerchief and he accused a woman beside him of stealing it. But just before he was going to get off, he found it under his seat. He said to the woman, " Well, Madam. Don't take my little mistake to heart!"
" I took you for a gentleman, and you regarded me as a thief. We were both mistaken," said the woman calmly.
Bad and Worse
A doctor called his patient with the frightening results of his test. " I've got bad news and worse news for you," the doctor said." The bad news is that you only have 24 hours to live."
"Oh, no! that's terrible news," the patient moaned.
"How can it get worse than that, Doctor?"
" I've been trying to reach you since yesterday," the doctor replied.